I feel like this is a mantra I need to keep repeating to myself. Repeatedly. Over and over again. Why did I do this to myself? I never do this. Why now? Why?
I cannot even begin to explain how exhausted I am right now. I feel like I just ran a marathon. Or spent five hours at the gym. Or went through a life-changing crisis that required me to lose hours and hours of sleep. But really, none of this is true. I sheepishly admit that I lost hours of sleep merely because of my own procrastinating foolishness.
But I learned my lesson this weekend. I promise, I will never procrastinate again.
This all started during Reading Week when, in denial, I didn't mark as many student essays as I should have. I was enjoying my time at home, you see. And really, I was in denial about marking so many essays. I also didn't finish writing the 15 pages of my Elections essay that I should have written. I also didn't finish reading ahead for Canadian Politics. I also, most importantly, didn't finish editing my Canadian Politics critical review essay.
And now that Reading Week is over, I've been punished for my procrastinating ways. This past weekend was agonizing. Beyond anything I can explain in words. Actually, three words sum it up: I. Need. Sleep.
The Barbara of Reading Week was at home, spending time with friends and family, and, most importantly, sleeping in. She woke up every morning, glanced at her pile of work in disdain and walked past her desk.
"I'll let Future Barbara worry about that," she said dismissively, "I'll do it tomorrow."
I will never let Future Barbara worry again. Ever. Future Barbara cannot wake up with dark circles under her eyes after a mere 3 hours of sleep. Future Barbara cannot be a slave to caffeine. Future Barbara cannot suffer from sleep deprivation when she writes future blog posts. Yes, Future Barbara will continue to do her work days or weeks in advance.
I learned my lesson this weekend. I promise, Future Barbara, I will never procrastinate again.
I don't think I've ever been as stressed this year as I was this past weekend. To the point that I spent 8 hours at the law library on Friday, 8 hours at the law library on Saturday, and 6 hours at the law library on Sunday.
Um. I don't think that was healthy. I spent more time at the library than I did at my own house. Actually, I spent more time at the library this weekend than I did sleeping combined. Yes, let's review those numbers. This was a problem.
I don't know about you, but as the work began to pile up last week, on top of all the essays we had to mark, I started to panic. So overwhelmed, I felt like I was drowning. The sinking feeling you get when procrastination catches up to you is terrifying. This cannot happen again.
But I learned my lesson this weekend. I promise, Future Barbara, I will never procrastinate again.
Now that the weekend is over, I feel like I can breathe again. I finished reading 200 pages I was required to read. I finished marking 50 student essays. I finished writing a weekly reading response. I finished writing a paper. I finished an outline of another paper.
And now? I'm off to crawl to bed, relieved that this wretched weekend is over. And starting tomorrow, I'm doing my work days and weeks in advance. There is no way this is happening again. EVER!!
"There are a million ways to lose a work day, but not even a single way to get one back."
- Tom DeMarco and Timothy Lister
"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts."
- Bertrand Russell