The Problem With Law School - Competition and the Importance of Friendship?

You know that kid in Grade 9 math class who would turn around, ask you what your answer is, then proceed to tell you exactly why they're better than you? You know. Something about how your x and y axis was blah blah blah blah and thats why you're dumb and they're not blah blah blah?

Kid, relax. You wanted to roll your eyes at their self-righteousness when you were 14 years old - and you'd probably want to do the same now.

Just. Relax. Make a friend instead. It's that easy, no?

Maybe this is just rhymeless reason. Or just minor food for thought after a long, tiring day. And maybe this is just long-accepted reality many before me have come to realize and accept. Maybe this is just how law school is. So, you know, grow up, Barb. Deal with it. And maybe this is just human nature - to compete, to get ahead at all costs. To make friendships but to always always always just look out for yourself. To be extremely aware of everyone's "level of intelligence." Then proceed to rationalize how your own "level of intelligence" stacks up against your peers. It's a constant game of self-indulgence and silently malicious culture where people rationalize their own worth by belittling other people.

Seriously. We're grown ups. Do students really have to be so mean to their peers?! Why do some students have to be so mean to each other in an attempt to get to the top? I just don't understand it. Please. Save your words and let your grades do the talking.

Does law school really have to be that way? Is that type of scornful behaviour necessarily ingrained in law school culture?

Friends, it doesn't have to be that way if you don't let it.

Before I came to law school, friends warned me about what to expect. I waved their concerns off. I said, please, I've watched Legally Blonde. I know what law school's like. I know you have to work hard. I know you don't show up to a party as a Playboy Bunny. I know I need to run away if I see Professor Callahan (okay, I seriously need to chill on these Legally Blonde references). I know. But I wasn't always so sure about believing the nature of law school culture - the outward friendliness but inward, silent malicious competition.

It's kind of sad, really. Did I put too much faith on genuine kindness?

Hey, don't get me wrong. As I've said before, I love it here. I love my program, the friends I've made. I've met many wonderful, kind people - many who don't fall under the category I'm writing about today. I love the independence, I love what I'm learning. But, you know, law school also carries with it a certain stigma. That stigma where everyone silently one-ups each other in a game of outward friendliness but inward, silent competition. Where inner rationalization of your own self-righteousness makes you think you can belittle other people.

It's sad. I just wish kindness was still a staple these days.

I'm not saying we should hold hands and sing Kumbaya. I'm not naive. Law school isn't about dancing with unicorns under a rainbow. Neither is life. There's absolutely nothing wrong with competition and trying your absolute best - that's how success is born.

But competition doesn't have to be mutually exclusive with kindness. With friendship. With loyalty, affection. Constantly rationalizing why you're better than your peers or why your answers are better than other people's won't bring you friends. Big surprise.

It won't hurt you to be nice to people.

Aesop said so. It must be true. And is that honestly, really, truthfully, so hard? It shouldn't be. Whether you're in law school or not.

Wanna hold hands? Wanna sing Kumbaya? No? We don't have to go thattttttt far, don't worry. (I don't know the words!!). But what we can do is become friends, help each other out when problem cases are a confusing puzzle, give each other a hand when you skip the Misrepresentation and Negligence lecture because you couldn't stand the professor, and to just be kind, thoughtful human beings.

Is that really so hard?

Why burn bridges when you can be kind, tactful even, instead? It shouldn't be that hard, yea?

Just a thought for the day. I'll go play with my unicorns now.

"It's just something that happens as you grow up. You realize it's less important to have more friends and it's more important to have real ones."

"Are you upset, little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, dont worry. I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end. The sun will shine tomorrow. And I will always be here to take care of you."
- Charlie Brown to Snoopy

"People are getting smarter nowadays; they're letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide."
- Will Rogers

"A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval."
- Mark Twain

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."
- Mark Twain

My First Month of Law School - Summer's Over, New Beginnings, Prepping For Life-Changing Decisions

My dear loyal readers,

I've neglected you.

What can I say? I'm sorry. What do I owe you? A hug? A drink? A nice cup of steaming hot cocoa the next time I see your lovely faces? As much as I loved blogging regularly this past year, life as we know it caught up to me this summer. I'm sorry. C'est la vie.

Clearly, my last blog post was ages ago. Three months ago to be exact. A lot has changed in the last few months of this grad life of mine - it was a life-changing summer, to be sure. I last updated all of you whilst frantic on the floor of my home in Kingston, Ontario, surrounded by boxes and garbage bags, packing up my life as a Masters student at Queen's University. And, side note, I ended up having to leave some furniture behind because I had too much crap to move back home. How did I end up moving more stuff back home than I brought to Kingston?

Curses. We should have hired a U-Haul. Ah, summer memories.

These days, my life at Queen's seems like an alternate reality. My year in Kingston feels, honestly, like a distant memory these days. Running to class, grading essays, slaving over TA prep work, reading, researching, reading, and more reading. It just feels like so long ago. It's funny how time flies by so quickly and life as we know it changes so drastically with every new decision we make.

And, yes, decisions. I made them. Boy, did I make them. Remember how you left me last? Agonizing over which school to go to? It was a tumultuous summer deciding which law school to inevitably accept. And, fast forward over the tears, the panic, the reservations that plagued me over July and August, I'm here - right now, I'm thousands of miles away from Mississauga, from Toronto, from my grad life in Kingston.

Hundreds of thousands of miles away in jolly old England.

Why England, you ask? Why not the US schools I agonized over for so long? That's a blog post for another day.

For now, I'm just glad I've decided to start blogging again. Because, well, what can I say? I've missed you all! i'm not going to lie and say I can blog regularly this year. But I will say that I'll try to regularly blog. How many of us can document their years of law school on a blog like this? I'd like to keep it up, as a compilation of memories, if nothing else.

PREPARING FOR LAW SCHOOL

So, yes, in the last few weeks before the start of school, I was in a state of panic. The weeks I spent getting my visa, purchasing all the items I needed for a trans-continental move, saying goodbye to friends, family, and loved ones. Booking my flight, packing my life away in several suitcases (do you KNOW how much it hurts to leave your precious wardrobe at home?!). And, basically, panicking for no reason. Because trans-continental moves do that to you.

Honestly, you cannot imagine my state of mind the last couple of months before this move. I was scared out of my mind. Moving to a US law school wouldn't have been as scary, I admit. It's just across the border. I could run home whenever I wanted. But, here, across that pond they call the Atlantic Ocean, I can't run home. I'm all by myself.

I was petrified to move to another country. To another continent when I've lived in Canada most of my life. And yet, I'll admit that it's an experience I wouldn't trade for anything. The life experience of living in Europe for a couple of years is indescribable - if moving away to Kingston did something for my independence, a move to Europe could sure as heck do wonders to a mommy's girl like me.

Well, after getting my visa, packing, flying, stopping over in Brussels for the longest layover known to man, I'm here. Safe, sound, if not a little home-sick, thrown off by culture shock, and missing the comforts of Canada. Because seriously, the minute I land in Toronto for Christmas, I'm heading over to the nearest Tim Horton's to nurse a beloved iced capp.

And, oh, believe me. You wouldn't think the British were capable of giving you culture shock. But they are. It takes awhile adjusting to another country - even if they also speak English. But that's a blog post for another day.

MY FIRST MONTH OF LAW SCHOOL

Okay, so I know I have a tendency to gush over how much I loooove everything (See: posts on my first day of my Masters program, etcetera etcetera).

So, it shouldn't be a surprise to read about how much I've loved and enjoyed my first month here. My first month as a law student has been nothing short of interesting. Friends have told me how much they hated Contract Law. But, you know what? I actually love it. I don't mind running home on a Friday night to slave over problem cases about Offer and Acceptance.

That isn't sarcasm.

And, hey, even if I don't understand Consideration just yet - I don't mind slaving over the 100 page chapter about it.

That isn't sarcasm either.

Don't give me a lecture about how boring this stuff is. You put that away! I love it. And I'm glad I'm learning it. There's nothing more amazing than living something you've always dreamed of.

Mind you, it's a crapload of work. My sleeping habits are nothing to be desired. I'm pretty sure I need to purchase concealer to hide the bags under my eyes. This first month of law school has worked me harder than the first three months of my Masters program. But, I enjoy it. And that's what matters, yea? The hard work - it'll be worth it in the end. And believe me, it's a LOT OF WORK.

If there's anything I can say right now, it's this: everything happens for a reason. And this transcontinental move to Europe is something I hardly regret. I'm enjoying law school more than I could have imagined.

Although, side note. Law school also breeds competition. And there's nothing worse than having to watch your back around your peers. But unfortunately, you'll find that people may will belittle you, your qualifications, and your education for the sake of looking better than you.

Law school is great. But, you need to be careful. Take my advice. I've seen it. And it's only Week 4. Unfortunately, that's the truth.

Anyway, aside from that negative note, I love it here. I love the friends I've made, and I'm enjoying school. It's funny how much my grad life has changed this past year. We're growing up, we're making decisions. We're changing careers, we've left for different schools.

Enjoy your life-changing decisions as you live them, my friends. Every minute is something to treasure!

With all my love,

Your resident grad-life-blogger-who-started-to-blog-again-woot!

"I chose to go to law school because I thought that someday, somehow I'd make a difference."
- Christopher Darden

"Unless it's extraordinary love, it's a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldnt be one of them."

"It's my favourite class to teach. Usually, someone cries."
- Civil Rights Litigation Professor

The Case for UK Law Schools - A Personal Dilemma

As most of you know (since I never shut up about it), I visited Europe last summer and loved it. So much that I resolved to one day live there, even if it was just for a short period of time. Paris, I loved. But since I don't speak French, I can't foresee myself being there for anything related to education. But London, I loved just as much.

And that leads me to today's dilemma. Please excuse me. I'm about to ramble on for a bit. What else is new?

So, a couple of weeks ago, I blogged about recent law school acceptances I received. And so far, I've received acceptances from 2 schools in the United States and 2 schools in London, England.

Granted, I'm still waiting to hear back from a few other schools in Canada and the U.S., so I guess I'm prematurely stressing myself out (as I usually do). But here's the dilemma anyway.

When I applied to law school, I didn't realize how hard it would be to actually choose which one I should go to. I was just hoping against hope that I'd actually get in. Anywhere. But now that I'm faced with choices, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to choose between the offers I currently have. It's really hard. Cost-Benefit analysis, anyone?

Which brings me to this dilemma. I've heard conflicting reports about getting your law school education in London. On the face of it, there are so many cons. Examples: Extremely high (expensive) standards of living, expensive tuition, and most importantly, the process of coming back to Canada to write the NCA accreditation exam in order to practice here.

But then again, I know several people who attended law school in London, loved it, came back, wrote the NCA exams flawlessly, and found a job immediately, erasing their debts just a few years into employment.

On the other hand, the schools in the U.S. that I'm considering are just as reputable. And just as expensive. And a pretty large distance away from home. And it's a year longer than a degree from London.

Do you see my dilemma? Do you see? I don't know what to do. I really need to do a cost-benefit analysis. Stressful decisions, these. Am I crazy to think that law school in London isn't such a terrible idea? Is staying in North America the better choice?

I know I shouldn't seriously consider UK law schools in terms of practicality (do I really want to move halfway around the world for two years?), and I should probably consider the U.S. schools more seriously, but I still find the entire acceptance package from London extremely attractive. Am I crazy to think so? The term funding bewitched me, I tell you. Not to mention the actual experience of living in Europe. But that's my shallow side talking.

And so this is my dilemma, friends. As I continue to hear back from schools in the next two months, I'm sure I'll be ridden by even more bouts of anxiety. I can't wait until everything comes in and I can finally weigh all my choices properly.

Oh, life-changing decisions. I guess I should face it: I'm really, really not ready to be an adult yet. It's too hard, I tell you.

"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition."
- Martha Washington

"There’ll be two dates on your tombstone and all your friends will read them. But all that is going to matter is that little dash between."
- Kevin Welch

The Day I Got Into Law School

Yesterday started off like an ordinary day. Our students have a major essay due tomorrow, so I expected a whole slew of students to drop by my office hours yesterday morning. What possessed me to hold office hours at 9:00 am? Really? And indeed, my students did show up at that hour. It was pre-essay deadline mayhem, actually.

I wasn't expecting it to be a remarkable day. I was really tired. Exhausted. Sleep deprived. I had a presentation for Elections that I was writing and, honestly, I was counting down the days until I would leave Kingston for Reading Week. And yet, just like the old saying goes, when you least expect it, something remarkable does happen. Clutching my thermos full of caffeinated Chocolate Chili Chai tea (it sounds gross, but it really isn't), I flipped open my laptop, logged into my email, and paused in stunned silence.

I found an email with the subject line "(University Name) Offer Letter."

What. What. What. What.

I think I actually stopped breathing for a moment.

Cautiously, I opened the email, and the feeling that came after reading the first two paragraphs was indescribable. When you have worked towards something for almost a decade, when you have dreamed of a certain moment since you were twelve years old, when you decisively wrote in your eighth grade yearbook that you wanted to go to law school, the feeling of achieving that goal years and years later is initially one of numbing shock. And then absolute, utter delight. The kind of delight you feel when something so seemingly out of reach suddenly becomes yours. Twenty four hours later, I still can't describe it. All I know is that I was so incredibly happy.

Grabbing my keys, I rushed to Dianne's office, cautiously opened her door, and, stunned, I blurted out the words, "I got into law school." In absolute delight, we jumped up and down in her office for more than a few minutes. I absolutely could not believe it. Side Note: it was, of course, also the moment that my student arrived (very) early for her appointment and witnessed me giggling like a fool. Ah well.

The rest of the day was a blur. And just when I thought the day could not get better, I checked my email again that afternoon. And, lo and behold, I found a second Offer of Admission to yet another school of choice in the United States. I couldn't believe it. Another school I thought was so out of reach for me wasn't as unattainable as I believed it would be.

Twenty four hours later, I'm still in shock. After spending the last five hours at the QP celebrating, I'm now sitting here applying to the last two law schools on my list. I'm so excited that I can't concentrate on anything else. It's been such a fabulous week full of more surprises than I could have imagined.

Good things happen when we least expect it, yea? I began the week exhausted. Really, I was in a crummy crummy crummy mood. I thought Reading Week would never come. And yet, two days later, I'm elated. As grad students, we tend to get into a routine that leaves us exhausted, defeated, uncertain about the work we are doing. Let this blog post serve to encourage all of us that great surprises and opportunities are waiting for us just around the corner. So take heart!

I think we all have dreams of some sort. We may not all know what we want as a career, but I think we would all agree that we want to be happy with whatever we choose to do. As I went through middle school, high school, and university, I always knew what career would make me happy. Lawyers get a bad rep, but I don't have any doubts that this is something I would love to do for the rest of my life. I've watched and volunteered for enough lawyers to know that it's a job I want to have. I love the work, I love the reading, I love everything about it. And yet, the only obstacle always in my way was the extremely competitive process to enter law school. Last year, I'll admit that I was devastated when I wasn't accepted into the school of my choice. And yet, in the last two days, something that seemed so unattainable was suddenly handed to me.

For the rest of my life, I will never forget the day I got into law school. I've always thought about the moment when I would receive an acceptance letter. And it finally happened. I have no doubt that yesterday was a day that changed my life. Law school is still months away and there are still decisions to be made. And yet I can't wait for all of it to start!

And so, learning a lesson from my own uncertainties, I wish you, dear readers, all the best with finding and attaining that career, job, or program that will make you happy. Things may seem uncertain right now, but you never know what surprises are waiting for you around the corner. Let this blog post encourage all of you to pursue the career or program you want to get involved with. You are all capable of greatness. Of doing wonderful things for the country and the world we live in. And I have absolute faith in all of you.

"Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible."
- Doug Larson

"We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love."
- Mother Teresa